Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Myself ;)

This blog post is not like the others. It's not about any political or social issue. This time it's about me. I felt like venting my thoughts and here they are, all jumbled up. Like I said, I write all the time, no matter how trivial, stupid or personal it is.

People are right when they say exposure is important to understand the world and yourself. Interning has taught me many things; like bearing people you absolutely hate, with a nice, big smile, being responsible and attentive, to depend on no one but yourself. Most of all though, it has improved my understanding about myself. I've gotten to know myself, and have, however unpleasantly, learnt to place myself correctly, something I never did before. I think that's because I've lived in a really sheltered world, everywhere I have someone I can depend upon, and I chickened out of places where I couldn't find such people, I always had replacements for people who left me. This is the first time I am at a place where I don't have anyone I can depend upon and I can't leave this time either, I've got to stay here for my own sake.

For a person who is as pampered as me, it's hard to come to terms with the truest form of independence and responsibility that comes with it. I never knew I was so reluctant towards change and being responsible. All my life I've seen my mother work and manage the house like a perfect housewife at the same time and I never really appreciated the effort that was involved in it. That doesn't mean I didn't appreciate her or I underestimated her. I've always looked up to her as a role-model but I suppose mostly, I valued her just like anyone else would value their mother. Now I have to go through the same routine, I completely understand how she must feel when she gets home and realises she has to do a bunch of other chores. Even though I don't do anything once I get home, I feel so tired that I convince myself that I can't move an inch of my muscles. And it is at moments like these that I realise I'm still not ready for practical life, I can't face what lies ahead of me.

Despite all these unpleasant realisations, I don't regret coming here. Better learn my lesson on my own instead of letting other people shake me awake later. I've got a lot to do to get over all my seemingly minor issues, but this can be the first step :)


  1. One difficult thing to realise when one is tired is that... moving (walking, running, doing chores) will remove stress, lift-up our mood and energize us, and prepare us for a good night sleep. Whereas, slouching, eating and artificial soothing via caffine will further drain our energy and dampen the mood...

  2. I'm trying to get rid of that habit :)